Sitting at home working, Kai Noonan was greeted with an email stating they had been nominated to receive an Order of Australia Medal, but laughed thinking it was a scam.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
or signup to continue reading
"I researched it and it looked a little more legitimate, but mostly I was confused. They don't tell you who nominated you or why you were nominated, so it's still a mystery - which I quite like," Kai said.
It wasn't a scam because Kai was receiving an OAM for service to the LGBTIQ+ community and the domestic and family wellbeing sector.
Having worked in the sexual, domestic and family violence sector for close to 15 years, with the last decade focusing within LGBT communities, Kai said awareness was growing.
"LGBTIQ people weren't named in any government policy or legislation, there was very little research, very little services available to LGBTIQ people. Like if you were a gay man, for example, there was no domestic violence service that would actually support you," Kai said.
"It's changed a lot in recent years, and [while] I am not the only person who has worked in the space, I was one of the original people doing this work, but there are others like me."
Starting a career working in social services with a focus on mental health, drug and alcohol, asylum seekers and refugees, Kai said domestic violence was prevalent and a common occurring issue in all those settings.
Describing themselves as having a strong sense of justice with a dislike in people misusing power, Kai refocused on further assisting the LGBTIQ community.
"It's an extra kind of pain, and extra kind of heartbreak, and I just feel really passionately about not wanting to see people hurt in that way, so I moved into the domestic violence space and [was] doing a lot of direct client work, and managing emergency phonelines," Kai said.
"I knew that violence happened in my community [as] I saw it happening in friends and social settings. There was no support and the services I worked in wasn't offering support to my community."
Kai would, when services were shut after hours, help by swooping in to find the affected a hotel for the night or the week, and get them out of the dangerous situation they were in.
"One of the hardest things about working on the phone is that you can feel helpless in that sense, it's like you're an active bystander, which is pretty challenging, but it's all challenging work," Kai said.
"I think it's definitely changed me as a person, and I think there's a part of my soul that's a bit permanently damaged forever, but in a way that kind of crisis emergency work can feel kind of satisfying as well.
"On the one hand you might be on line feeling like you want to be there any help, but on the other hand you also have a kind of definitive answer that the person and their kids are in a hotel tonight."
Kai said during the past decade working in the space, there had been a decline in the amount of inter partner homicide cases.
However, in the past year there had been an increase by 30 per cent.
"For years we started to celebrate thinking things had got better, and then the last year it's been a bit of a tragic situation across the board, all inter partner homicide cases," Kai said.
Softly speaking, you could hear the heartbreak Kai held for the women and children in the community as well as those who identified as LGBTIQ, and lives had been affected by the increase in domestic violence related deaths.
Kai said research showed when somebody leaves it becomes the most dangerous time, but said there are other types of abuse which could affect the survivors indefinitely.
"With financial abuse and technology abuse facilitated abuse, the damage done can last a lifetime because you can be in debt for the rest of your life that your partner accrued, or you can have intimate images of you posted online and monitor your whereabouts," Kai said.
"Everybody I've ever worked with says, 'I wish my partner just hit me because the bruises heal'.
"It's the rest of the heartbreak and the psychological trauma and financial abuse that really has that long lasting impact."
Accepting the honour of an Order of Australia Medal, Kai hoped it would help to continue the conversation around domestic violence about women and children, and further new conversations about it within the LGBTIQ+ community.
"It's also nice [because] it hasn't been easy and so many times I have thought about what I could do. I've thought about being a carpenter, a florist, doing work which isn't about trauma, homicide, death and injury," they said.
"So this is one of the moments where maybe someone's appreciating the work and maybe it's worthwhile."